


Million Dollar Man

by larrybullshipper



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Cannon fic, Drug Addiction, Established Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles / Louis Tomlinson - Freeform, Harry on drugs, Larry Stylinson Is Real, M/M, One Direction Hiatus, Recreational Drug Use, References to Drugs, Rehabilitation, Slow Burn, Substance Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:07:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28995717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larrybullshipper/pseuds/larrybullshipper
Summary: One direction was a household name, everyone knew of the band in some shape or form- or knew the infamous Harry Styles. When Harry started out he was sixteen, practically a baby still. From the start he'd quite hit it off with Louis and now four years later, it wasn't all that much of a shock that they'd been in a proper relationship for the past three- nearly four years. And nearly four years into their relationship Louis notices what the music industry did to Harry.
Relationships: Harry Styles & Louis Tomlinson
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

(2014)

One direction was a household name, everyone knew of the band in some shape or form- or knew the infamous Harry Styles. When Harry started out he was sixteen, practically a baby still. From the start he'd quite hit it off with Louis and now four years later, it wasn't all that much of a shock that they'd been in a proper relationship for the past three- nearly four years.   
They were at they're album release party for, four, Harry knew the drill as did Louis, Louis latched on to Zayn as Harry floated around the room- both avoiding their boyfriend. 

"Check H, and Grimmy. He makes it so damn easy for people to insinuate he's gay." Zayn huffed, to Louis, Louis wasn't drinking unlike Harry who was clearly drunk, and hanging off Nick- or any man in his path. Louis and Nick tried to get along for the sake of Harry, Harry adored Nick although Louis wasn't sure why. It did make Louis blood boil watching Harry so carelessly flaunt himself around the room, falling off of any man or woman he was around. 

"He can do it, apparently." He sighed turning his eyes away from Harry. "Management gave him a 'go-a-head' to be gay without being out, whatever that means." 

"So stereotypically gay? I'm lost." Louis huffed, wishing this damned party was over, he wasn't sure why he couldn't bring himself to drink, maybe his pulsating headache. 

"I don't know, he was just pleased he could 'be himself' I'm not sure what that even means. Of course he has more freedom then I do though, Harry fucking Styles, One Direction's front man, there money maker. It's such bull that they do this to him you know." Zayn wasn't sure if Louis was petty over his statement or concerned for Harry. 

"As in?" Louis knew Zayn had smoked up before the party, but he wasn't sure that his brain cells apparently died and didn't let him function properly.

"As in he's becoming a brat? As in they fill his head that he's so fucking high above us all, and it's bloody torture trying to keep him level." Zayn nodded, the media seen Harry as a sweetheart, kind hearted and not an ounce of narcissism in his body. Which may have been true if, their team didn't do anything and everything in their power to make Harry as narcissistic as he could possibly be. Louis loved Harry he absolutely adored Harry, but he'd became a lot lately, and Louis was sick of arguing. 

"You do know he hates me? Like literally hates me, Liam thinks I'm being over dramatic. I see it though." Harry did dislike Zayn and he'd voiced his opinions about Zayn on multiple occasions, never we're they good. 

"He's just different right now, I'm actually exhausted of this band. We need a break from it." 

"He'd only go solo," Zayn shot back, as Louis raise an eyebrow. "There's millions of company's dying to get him to sign they're waiting for us to stop so they can get him. It's a fucking joke." Louis knew that to an extent, Harry spoke about whenever the band split he had opportunities. Louis just left the conversation as it was, turning back to Harry, who was whispering into Nick's ear holding onto his hip. Nick laughed at whatever Harry said and Louis felt sick that Harry wasn't allowed to be that close to Louis, they couldn't stand close or all hell broke loose. Louis was feeling particularly brave for some bizarre reason, and dismissed himself from Zayn who'd already had found company in Perrie. Louis walked close to where Harry stood chatting to Nick whoever else crowded around them, Harry leaned against the wall drink in his hand and just before Louis could even walk close someone Louis hadn't met before was pulling Harry into the bathroom. Louis huffed, trying to find Liam and completely leave this shitty party. 

"I'm leaving." He announced to Liam who was sitting with Sophia and Niall. Who looked up at him with a cocked brow. 

"Why? Just stay have a drink." Liam begged taking a drink of his beer. 

"Massive headache, we have a promo tomorrow night, yeah?" Liam nodded, along with Niall as Louis bid them a goodbye, and Louis just left looking back to where Harry was walking out of the bathroom, running his hands through his hair. 

***

Louis heard the door alarm go off at five thirty in the morning, he hadn't even realized that he'd feel asleep, and that Harry wasn't in bed yet. Louis went down stairs to the door, opening it to Harry who's shirt wasn't hardly on, and looked absolutely shattered. 

"Harry, what the fuck? It's morning, have you just stopped drinking?" Harry just giggled and pushed past Louis, trying unsuccessfully to get his shoes off. 

"Lo' 'ittle help?" Louis rolled his eyes and ignored him. 

"Nope. I'm going to bed." Harry's face dropped finally getting his shoes off. 

"Lou," he called behind as he stumbled up to the bedroom. "Louis." Louis looked at him with crossed arms. 

"Where the hell were you?" Harry blinked a few times sniffling his nose, and slipped his shirt off. 

"Uh, Ga-" he paused looking at the roof, sniffling again. "Joe's! He's a cool guy. Lots of people, nice party." Louis sighed looking at Harry noticing how off he was, not drunk off ether. 

"Are you high?" Harry fell into the bed into a fit of giggles. 

"Would you hate me if I was, feel bloody fantastic. You smoke pot why can't I do drugs?" Louis narrowed his eyes, climbing into bed besides Harry looking into Harry's eyes at how spaced out he was. 

"What did you take?" Harry just laughed, again and Louis sighed. Harry put his hand on Louis lips and Louis pushed his hand away. "Harry, stop I'm serious what did you take!" He yelled and Harry poured crossing his arms. 

"Uh, hm. I think... I dunno, stop yelling!" He protested, and Louis stood up, Harry sat up, blinking. 

"Coke? Pills? What?" Louis didn't find Harry amusing. 

"In the bathroom... Uh, I did coke, and uh, Joe gave me a pill later, dunno what it was, Louis! Don't leave." Louis rubbed his hands over his face. 

"You're an absolute prat, I'm going to the guest room." Louis was far too fed up with this, he couldn't believe Harry was this stupid. Harry laid back down, rolling his eyes. 

"You suck anyways," he stuck his tongue out. "Don't want you here anyways." Louis left before he could hear the rest of his blabbering, texting Liam, Zayn and Niall, that this might be a future issue.

By the time Harry actually woke up it was 7 the next night, at one point Louis thought he was dead, when he woke up to three boys standing over him he grumbled. 

"Too bright," he mumbled pulling the covers over his head. "Too early." Liam pulled the covers off his head and Harry shot a glare. 

"It's 7 at night you idiot, it's not early." Harry's mind was a bit foggy and he didn't feel great if he was honest. 

"It's- what, I-"

"We have an interview in an hour, we have to leave in half hour, get up." Zayn throw over his shoulder as he walked out of the room, Harry licking his lips. 

"You absolutely terrified us, we thought you had over dosed or something." Liam spoke calmly, sitting on the bed next to Harry. Harry looked to Louis who looked a bit haggard, he genuinely didn't remember a thing from last night. 

"Over dosed... I don't- I wasn't high." They all sighed as Harry tried to piece last night together, he honestly didn't. 

"You were, you said you did coke and pills to me last night. I'm really fed up with this shit Harry." Harry sat up head pounding, wincing at the pain. 

"I honestly don't remember anything, I- I'm going to get a shower." He felt a bit panicked, he was unsure of what exactly was happening. He just knew he felt horrible, maybe he had been high. Harry stood up, not another word spoke between any of them while he locked himself in the bathroom. 

"I don't know what to do anymore, he's not the same at all, he would have never done anything drunk or not like this before." Louis sighed sitting besides Liam, Niall took the place on the bed besides Louis. 

"It was once it most likely won't happen again, he didn't even know what happened last night. He's smart." Louis wanted to be optimistic but he wasn't really sure what to think anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

Touring was never difficult for Harry and Louis, it was a rare occasion where they had time together and lots of it. Much to Louis' dismay, this tour was difficult, he wasn't sure how much he could take.   
They were in Texas, currently, Harry was buzzing after a show, rapidly texting on his phone. 

"Louis, darling?" He called in their dressing room, Louis wasn't sure he liked this persona he was taking on, it was like Harry but too extra. Louis hummed, laying on the couch, a bit worn out. 

"Fancy a couple drinks tonight?" Louis wanted to say no but he also felt like he should go, because really this tour was different he hadn't seen Harry hardly. 

"Where at, like?" Harry sniffled, he's taken a bit of hay fever- or so he'd been telling everyone. 

"Our room? Invite the boys and like whoever else is in town?" Louis just nodded, as Harry typed away, apparently since Harry was legal this year he'd taken a bit of advantage of being able to go out and drink, it was a bit of a shock he wasn't requesting to go out.   
Harry invited more people than Louis expected, and wasn't sure where Harry had came across these friends. 

"I feel like this is more then a couple drinks, H." He mumbled, as Harry took a shot. 

"Don't be boring Lou, you never want to come out anymore." 

"Bit over it like," he sighed, as Harry rubbed his arm. 

"My old man, that's a bit hot isn't it?" Louis cocked his eyebrow rolling his eyes, Louis knew if they hadn't been together Harry would be with an older man. He'd always stressed how much he liked them.   
Louis watched Harry float around the room, Louis had a lit joint in his lips standing at the patio when he was sure his heart stopped.   
He'd seen people do coke, and he'd been around it, but it was like slow motion watching Harry's flushed face, sniffing off a table. He put the joint out in the ashtray searching for one of the boys. 

"Niall," he hissed who was very drunk, leaning against a wall. Louis wished he'd had more to drink. Niall cocked a brow, as Louis bit his lip. "I think we- well I have a bit of a problem." Niall chuckled grabbing them both a beer. 

"Go on take you're lover to bed then." Louis narrowed his eyes and sighed, he wished it was that kind of problem. 

"No, Ni, like Harry doing coke problem." He watched Niall's face change a couple times before bitting his lip. 

"Can I be honest?" He questioned taking a drink, glancing over at a shirtless Harry, Louis nodded. 

"I caught him last week doing it, before a show. Begged me not to mention it, I didn't think much of it like." Louis face dropped a bit because how could he not notice? 

"So like this is a thing then? For the past five months he's been doing this? Oh my- how long before. I feel a bit sick." Niall licked his lips, shrugging. 

"I wish I knew, i-" Harry cut Niall off and Louis felt faint. 

"Babe I'm tired, fancy going to bed?" He winked and Louis nodded slowly, he wasn't sure how to approach this situation. Harry drug Louis to the bedroom, closing and locking the door quickly. It didn't take two seconds for Harry to lift Louis up bitting on his neck. 

"Need this, been so long - Lou," he moaned, Louis felt a bit numb as Harry placed Louis on the bed, if Louis ever had this look on his face Harry would have stopped but Harry's eyes were glassed over and completely spaced out. 

"H," Louis managed to breath as Harry bit down Louis stomach. 

"Fittest, I've had," he said slowly, and Louis tried to ignore the comment he knew Harry had slept around a few time when they weren't together but it went unspoken. "Wanna have you inside me, Lou." He moaned, as Louis flipped him over ignoring the fact that he shouldn't be doing this while Harry was like this. He wanted Harry as bad as Harry wanted him. Louis very well knew that Harry was so desperate to have Louis fuck him was because of what he'd just snorted up, he felt sick that he didn't care.   
Louis fingered Harry's hole, Harry whimpering underneath him. 

"Lou- now, damnit, Lou." He breathed as Louis put himself inside rolling his hips on Harry's while Harry's fingers dug into his hips. "Harder- Louis!" He moaned when Louis did in-fact thrust harder into him. Harry didn't last long coming all over himself, while Louis held out a bit longer before coming inside Harry. Louis breathlessly rolled off Harry, trying to catch his breath. 

"Still never get used to how good you are, Lou." Harry said trying to catch his own breath, when they laid like this Louis couldn't imagine that Harry was coked up, but it was nagging the back of his mind. 

"Did you snort again tonight?" He felt Harry crack his neck, as it was silent. 

"I did, yeah. I'm not like addicted, it just felt right you know? I've only done it a handful of times I won't keep doing it if you don't want." The way Harry worded it was like Louis was asking a child to stop doing something, Louis licked his lips. 

"I'm not telling you what to do H, it's bad shit, you know that. I don't want you addicted." Louis turned to face Harry, who looked a little more with-it now. 

"I won't I promise," he said kissing Louis, and Louis wanted to believe it, but he wasn't sure he could believe it. 

***

They had a two week break, the tour was a lot and Louis could feel Zayn starting to pull out of the band, Zayn was frankly sick of being treated like a child by their management. Louis was sat at home, his home he shared with Harry, while Harry was out getting groceries. Things were good, as good to be expected, he was half convinced Harry wasn't taking drugs anymore but unfortunately he'd been proven wrong when he was looking for the sugar and found a bag of white powder behind the sugar bag. Louis grabbed it and through it out, hoping it would send a message to Harry, he wasn't sure it would. 

Found coke behind the sugar this morn. Dunno what I'm to do just threw it out x

Louis text Liam and within minutes Liam rang him. 

"I wasn't going to mention it, but I don't think he stopped but he seemed to be good but like- this is shit isn't it?" Louis nodded rubbing his temples, how did this even happen, he didn't even know what to do about it. 

"I just- I wish there was something I could do, he's obviously not interested in stopping I can't force him into a clinic he's only enough to check himself out and I'm positive management will do shit. I can't tell Anne she'd be devastated." Louis sighed, he kinda felt like his hands were tied. "I just I know what he's doing is bad but what about... Like what if he starts feeling that it's not good enough and he does heroine or something like, I'm dating a drug addict!" He cried and Liam felt that, he felt Louis' pain because Harry was a part of all of them and it was hard to see this happen. 

"I just- I don't honestly know what to do. Intervention?" Louis huffed, shaking his head as the door opened. 

"I'll talk about this later, H is walking in." Louis put the phone down as Harry walked in looking a bit rough. 

"Y'alright?" Harry jumped a bit, and Louis gave a questionable look. 

"Yeah. Good. Tired." His words sounded off and Louis knew he'd ether just taken something or was coming off of something. 

"Maybes go have a lie down?" Harry fidgeted a bit nodding, running his hands through his hair. 

"Yeah. Okay." He couldn't help but notice how much Harry was sweating and how pale he looked, he watched as Harry climbed up the stairs going into their bedroom. Louis wasn't one to pry but he knew Harry didn't look good, he followed him upstairs hearing him violently spewing. 

"H- oh my-" he said hand over his mouth as Harry was shirtless, vomit all over the floor. "What the hell?" 

"Fuck off Louis," he growled, before he spew again, this time in the toilet bowl. "Don't need help." He mumbled incoherently. Louis just watched as he leaned his head back. 

"Bad hit, Harry?" He taunted with arms crossed standing in the bathroom door frame. Harry spewed again, lifting his head. 

"I said fuck off." He yelled, his breathing was rapid, he couldn't keep his breathing normal. It took all of five seconds for Harry to go to throw up again in the toilet and completely collapse. 

"Shit, Harry!" Louis ran to Harry panicking trying to shake him, but he stayed out. Louis fumbled for his phone ringing an ambulance. 

"Hello 999-"

"My- he's passed out I don't know if he's over dosed I'm just- please!" 

"We'll have someone shortly is he breathing?"

"Kind of I- I'm just what am I to do!" Louis checked his pulse which seemed barley there. 

"Just stay calm okay? Someone will be there shortly."

"He needs a private hospital, he can't- no one press wise can know." He sobbed into the phone, how could this happen. 

"Name, please." 

"Harry Styles, I didn't know he was using." He could hear her typing on the computer. 

"Just make sure he's still breathing someone will be there soon okay?" Louis placed the phone on speaker, Harry's breathing was laboured.   
Before he could even say anything there was a ringing on the door. He ran quickly down stairs, letting the paramedics in. 

They instantly hooked wires up to him, the one doctor, pumping his chest. 

"He's got not a lot of airflow," he mumbled, getting the oxygen mask, Louis stood dumbfounded. They placed his body on the stretcher, his blood pressure dropping rapidly. 

"You come with us." The other paramedic said as they started wheeling the stretcher out.   
Louis quickly texted the boys and Harry's mother- leaving details out. 

Before they even got to the hospital Harry needed resuscitated, and Louis was close to passing out him self, once they got to the hospital they wheeled Harry into a private room and told Louis to wait outside while they ran tests.   
Louis phone had rang several times while they'd been in the ambulance, he decided maybe he should ring Anne and explain. 

"Lou! What's going on? Is he alright?" She sounded just as panicked as he felt. 

"I think- he was a bit sick and passed out, they had to resuscitate him on the ambulance they're just running tests right now." 

"I'm on my way, whatever brung this on? Has he been poorly lately?" He didn't want to lie to her but he also didn't want to say what had been going on, he bit his lips trying to find the words to say. 

"Reckon he overdosed," he mumbled as he heard Anne gasp. "He's been a bit of an issue lately." 

"I'll be there soon." Was all she said before Louis bid a goodbye.  
Louis waited in the hallway outside of Harry's room for what felt like hours, which really was only forty minutes, the boy had text that they were close and Louis was about to go mental if he didn't get some information soon.   
Louis was never so happy when the doctor walked out clipboard in hand. 

"He's stable, he did overdose we found high levels of cocaine and opioids in his system, he's in a medical induced coma should be out in a couple hours. We'll run more tests once he's up. You're welcome to go sit inside." Louis nodded breathlessly, walking into the room. How stupid was he? How stupid was Harry to get so involved into drugs that he'd overdosed.   
Louis sat on the foot of the bed, looking at Harry who just really didn't look like himself. Before Louis could even beginning to think anymore Anne came in. 

"Oh darling," she breathed. "Is he-"

"He's just sedated, he's okay. They think, they'll do more tests once he's up. It was uh, cocaine and opioids." Anne just shook her head arms crossed, sitting on the chair besides Harry's bed. 

"I just, I'm having a hard time understanding. This has been an issue?" Louis sighed rubbing his face. 

"I didn't think it was, we'd seen it a few times, he swore it was nothing serious that he'd stop. Apparently not, I found a bag of cocaine this morning in the pantry behind the sugar. Then he came home from getting groceries and was a bit shattered like, went up stairs to the bathroom and he spewed everywhere and then passed out." Louis couldn't seem to get the image out of his mind, he also knew his bathroom was disgustingly covered in vomit, he'd have to send a cleaner. 

"I never would have- this isn't him, he's not... Harry's not like this, he can't even stand pot..." he could tell Anne was trying to fathom everything but just couldn't, he couldn't really last year Harry would have never even touched a drug, let alone be addicted enough to over dose. 

"I'm trying to understand it all and I just can't, it's doing me head in. Doesn't seem real like." He said staring at Harry, he didn't even know what to do from this point on.

***

It took Harry four hours to come around, Louis felt him wiggle underneath the sheets and watched his face scrunch up. His eyes opened, and blinked fast trying to make out what what going on. 

"Harry?" Anne spoke his head turned to his mum with furrowed brows. 

"Wha-" he coughed swallowing as Anne gave him a glass of water, he drunk it fast, looking at the four boys his mum and his sister. "What happened- where am I?" He said, his voice thick and like gravel. 

"You over dosed," Louis stated flatly, and all Harry could think about was the itch to get something in his system. "What do you remember?" Harry scrunched his face up again, he felt hot, too hot. 

"I don't know, feel a bit foggy." He could feel everyone staring at him, he wanted them to go. 

"I'll get the doctor," Niall mumbled, walking out of the room. 

"Me heads sore," he whined, running his hands through his hair, Louis petted his leg, knowing his head wasn't sore it was with drawl. "Need a tablet or something." Louis didn't miss the face Anne made, Gemma gave him a look. 

" 'fraid you won't be taking anything, can't give an Addict anything." She shot, Harry gave a look sinking into the bed further. 

"Not an Addict," he mumbled as Gemma and Zayn scoffed. "If you're going to be bitchy, I'm not interested." Gemma laughed in a completely non humorous way. 

"Don't think you have the cheek to say that do you?" Harry huffed opening his mouth to speak but Niall came in with the doctors. 

"Mr. Styles, you're up. How are you feeling?" Shitty, he wanted to say, he wanted out of this place so he could find something to make him feel a bit more humanly alive. 

"Uh, sore? Me heads pounding, feel a bit sick." He nodded, grabbing the blood pressure cuff and placing it on his arm. 

"Completely fine after what happened, other wise? Feeling a bit of with drawl?" Harry knew how sickly it was to be in with drawl, but this wasn't close to being in with drawl, he needed something quickly or he was sure he'd be in that state soon. 

"No. Can I go home though?" The doctor shook his head. 

"Unfortunately no, you'll be here for a few days, I can't force you into a rehab facility but I suggest a form of rehabilitation. I understand you're only in London for a week?" Harry comprehended half of what he said, his mind was a bit scattered. 

"Don't need it like," he mumbled, looking at his hands. 

"Well, you won't be released for a couple days so you'll have lots of time to think about it." Harry shot a look, he was sure he'd die in this hospital.

***

Harry let his mum rant on for hours on end until he actually passed out of exhaustion, Anne left shortly after. Louis stayed besides him, after everyone had left. By the time it was half three in the morning Louis could feel Harry shifting in his bed, Louis turned to face him, seeing Harry was in a completely sweat. The doctors told them the stages of withdrawl and he could see Harry was starting them. 

"Baby, wake up," he hummed, as Harry's eyes flashed open, he felt like he was going to explode. 

"Louis, please," he begged, and Louis heart broke by that one statement. "I'm loosing my mind- I can't- fuck Louis, please." Louis shook his head, clenching his jaw. 

"Not sure that would be any good would it?" Harry whimpered, he couldn't place himself he felt all out of sorts. 

"I'm going to die, Lou, Lou, Louis." Harry was all but crying for him, and Louis couldn't do anything. 

"Harry I can't." He watched as Harry pursed his lips and slid away from Louis. 

"Piss off then, being more of a hindrance then a help. Don't bloody well need help and you lot have me labeled as an addict. Fuck off." Louis swallowed hard, it was incredibly difficult to see Harry like this, this wasn't Harry. 

"The fact that you're begging me for a fix of something is evidence enough that you're in fact addicted, if your over dose wasn't enough evidence as it is." 

"I'll suck you off," Louis laughed, biting his lip. 

"I'm leaving, I'll come 'round in the morning when you're not like this." Harry huffed, crossing his arms. 

"Leave then! Don't fucking want you here, fucking useless prat." Louis got off the bed without another word, and left feeling hurt by Harry's words but knowing it wasn't him, he just hoped tomorrow would be better.


	3. Chapter 3

As it stood things didn't get better Harry spent the first two days being bitter and aggravated, and on day three he didn't speak.   
Louis spoke with his doctor, he assured it was all completely normal but they couldn't release him until he'd been five days sober.   
Day five was better, he seemed drained, and a bit spaced but he was speaking and bit more himself. 

"Mr. Styles," the doctor announced as he walked in Louis sitting in the chair besides the bed, Harry looked up, feeling every bit exhausted. "You can be discharged today, have you thought about a therapist or something?" Harry hadn't he'd been in too much pain to even think about anything but getting something in his system. Louis had made sure to check anywhere and everywhere to get rid of any drugs in the home, he was sure he'd got everything. 

"No, I can't afford to go to rehab I don't have time and I'm doing much better right?" The doctor blinked and shrugged. 

"You're doing as well as anyone who's recently came off heavy narcotics and drugs, in your line of work it's a bit difficult to stay clean, I suggest staying clear of parties and alcohol if possible. There are online rehab courses." Harry had a front up, he didn't like that people kept using the term 'drug addict' he really didn't feel like an addict, he knew he felt better when he'd been taking drugs then he was feeling now but he didn't feel like a stereotypical drug addict. Harry had been discharged, and he stayed silent on the car drive with Louis back to their house. 

"Harry look, you can't avoid this, and I get you're mad at us for keeping you clean. You're going to kill yourself if you don't stop. You overdosed." Harry looked out of the window sighing wishing it would all blow over, Louis knew he'd start using again, he didn't have the mind set to stop, they could do everything they wanted but Harry didn't want to stop. 

"I just wish everyone would stop treating me like a child," Louis hummed, he wasn't sure that's how they'd been treating him but that was Harry's claim to fame every time he felt someone was wronging him- they were 'babying' him. 

"Wanna get some rest? You tired?" Harry shook his head he really just wanted a drink or even pot, he'd settle for pot. 

"I'd smoke?" Louis gave him a look as they pulled up to their house. 

"Harry, really?" He rolled his eyes, sighing. 

"You smoke weed why the fuck can't I!" Louis let and exasperated sigh out shutting his eyes. 

"I'm not a fucking addict who just overdosed!" Harry got out of the car slamming the door huffing, Louis followed behind him, as Harry waited at the door for Louis to unlock it. 

"I'll leave." Louis shot him a look and sighed opening the door. 

"Leave then and when you overdose again it's not on me, let it be known that you broke up and left your boyfriend because you want to get high." Harry rolled his eyes walking in the house, stomping up the stairs going into the bedroom slamming the door, Louis through himself on the couch and rubbed his temples sighing. This wasn't going to be easy. 

By day eight of Harry's detoxing he'd managed to brake the sink, rip every article of clothing out from his closet, Louis couldn't count how many things he'd smashed. Finally on day eight Harry sat on the couch, too worn out to actually physically move. Louis had resorted to using paper cups, because he'd currently broken 5 mugs, he placed a tea in front of him and Harry sighed. 

"Why haven't you said anything to me?" Harry whispered, he could barely move his head from pure exhaustion. 

"I've read about it, I know you're angry it's the drugs coming out of your system." Harry weakly nodded shaking as he picked up the paper cup. "Now you know what it is to detox so hopefully you won't make the same mistake twice." Harry didn't have much in him to say back other then nod and take a drink.   
Maybe this was progress but Louis didn't know if he'd be so lucky. 

***

One Direction was back touring despite everyone trying to hold it off for another week, Harry was currently only two weeks clean and finally showing signs of functioning like a normal human being.   
They were backstage for their first show of the second leg, this was European dates now.   
Harry was rapidly smacking his gum, and Louis knew that meant he was craving, he also could tell because of how much he'd been itching at his neck. 

"You good?" Harry snapped out of his thoughts and looked towards Louis nodding, smiling. 

"Yeah just," he paused taking a drink of his ginger ale. "Tired still. Jet lag and all." Louis knew it wasn't jet lag at all, he could tell by the way he was tapping his foot rapidly he wanted something. 

"I've got to go collect Liam, want to come?" Harry swallowed shaking his head. 

"I'm good, you go." Louis nodded with a sigh he bit back, Harry's recovery was definitely causing a huge strain on them. Louis ran into Liam walking in through the back door, Liam gave a look. 

"Where's Harry?" Louis groaned leaning against the wall. 

"I said I needed to find you, I just needed a break, it's awful just watching him he's so fucking miserable." Liam sighed too, shaking his head. 

"It's miserable for all of us, I can't imagine for you, everyone's stressed out and it's starting to show." Louis bit his lip, shaking his head. 

"I don't know what to do to help him, everything isn't good enough. He's sitting scratching at his neck, smacking fucking gum, it's just a lot, and I can't do fuck all." Liam nodded as Zayn came around the corner, with a raised eyebrow. "Everything's good just stressed." Zayn nodded rolling his eyes. 

"He hasn't tried to use again?" Louis shook his head, he got theses questions daily. 

"Not that I'm aware of, don't think he'd be struggling as bad as he has been if he was." Zayn shrugged, and Louis narrowed his eyes. "Why? You think he is?" 

"He's space-y. I definitely think he is, I think he's struggling because he can't get something strong enough into his system." Liam huffed, giving a glare. 

"Z, what would he be doing? Like he is spaced out but like that's normal isn't it?" Louis nodded, he had read that somewhere. 

"Yeah it can be, but eventually pills aren't enough. He was agitated because he wanted Louis out, wait and see his demeanour change." Louis frowned, Zayn was being overdramatic in his eyes, Liam didn't know where to place himself in the situation, he could see that maybe Harry still was using something, but he definitely wasn't high like he had been.

"I'll search his bags- again." Louis grumbled out as he watched Harry exit their dressing room, pushing his hair back. Harry glanced over to them pulling his jumper sleeves down and walking over. 

"Isn't it show time in like half hour?" 

"45 minutes." Zayn corrected Harry looked at the ground and rolled his eyes. 

"Right. Okay. Shouldn't we be getting ready then? Where's Niall?" 

"Chatting to some bird, I'll grab him." Zayn said walking away, Harry gave a look and sighed slumping towards the wall Louis was leaning on. Putting his face in his hands. 

"I've made this all so shit," He cried, Liam gave Louis a look and headed toward where Niall and Zayn were. "Everyone hates me." Louis had read that addicts can use this tactic to make it seem like they understand what they've done so people give them sympathy, Louis unfortunately believed Harry was genuine. 

"H, no one hates you, it's just all a bit fucked up right now. Z thinks you might still be using and he's just-" it took Harry all of five seconds to lift his head, and snap. 

"The fuck is his problem? I'm fucking clean and he wants to talk shit about me? What gives him the right!" Louis blinded a few times, looking at Harry's tired face. 

"It's not without reason, everyone's worried it's gonna happen again." Harry huffed, standing straight. 

"No one gives me the credit I deserve! It's absolutely exhausting being me!" Louis had heard this speech before, he ran a hand over his face taking a deep breath. 

"Yeah okay, I get that calm down, we are giving you credit you've stopped and done amazing for these past few weeks. Relapse is a real thing, everyone's worried." Harry blew air out of his lips, shaking his head. 

"Everyone's fucking cunts." He mumbled turning on his foot and walking back into the dressing room slamming the door. Louis closed just eyes and took a deep breath, he really hated being the middle man. 

Surprisingly they somehow managed to do with show with no issues, as soon as it was over Harry fled out and returned to the hotel. 

"And that's not a problem?" Zayn questioned as Louis groaned getting in a car to follow him back to the hotel.   
Louis got up to the room to see Harry pacing, angrily. 

"I can not actually believe you!" He screamed as Louis walked in. 

"Believe what Harry?" He was bored of this attitude now, Harry laughed standing still now. 

"You think I'm on drugs." 

"Well are you? I mean for someone who isn't you're pretty pissed off ask me if I'm on drugs I won't give a reaction like you've gave." Harry clenched his jaw, with dead eyes.

"Are you fucking joking?" Louis let and exasperated sigh out, still standing in front of the door. "You're my boyfriend and you're supposed to support me." Harry challenged, through his teeth. 

"Support how? I've done nothing but be by your side through all of this shit, I didn't say a fucking word when you trashed the house I understood you had extreme withdrawals. I didn't get a thank you or nothing, how the fuck do you think I feel. I don't support you using drugs, I don't support that shit." Harry glared at him, and Louis was livid, he'd had arguments with Harry, and he'd had a lot of them within the last year. 

"I took a Percocet and a Xanax to calm my nerves I wasn't doing heroin." Louis bit his lip and looked up, why did he have to go through all of this it wasn't fair. 

"And those were prescribed where? You got them from a doctor?" 

"I got them from a pharmacy, I'll get the bottle with my fucking name on it!" 

"Who prescribed them!" Louis screamed, he didn't care that he went to a pharmacy, he knew there was pharmacy's that make it seem legal, he knew that if Harry was that desperate he would find some place to get them. 

"You know I have a $80 million dollar contract with Colombia records I could sign right now?" Louis huffed with pursed lips, this wasn't the Harry he'd fallen in love with. 

"Go fucking do it then." Louis exasperated, he was fed up with all of this, he knew Harry had a bidding war going on behind One Direction's eyes. "You'd be happier you wouldn't have me or the lads, you could do all the drugs you want and fucking leave us." Harry pursed his lips and rolled his eyes. 

"I think it's best if we should break up, I think that's best for us." Louis felt slapped, Harry could have slapped him and it wouldn't have stung as much, he tried to compose himself. He swallowed hard and snorted.

"Have a good life, H." Harry's eyebrows furrowed, now he was the one who looked like he'd been slapped.

"Lou, I'm not serious, you'd seriously just walk away after four fucking years?" Louis didn't have words colourful enough to use, he was actually livid at this pathetic display.

"Yeah I would. Clean your shit up, or I won't be back in your life." Harry gritted his teeth, and crossed his arms, Louis imagined a toddler would act like this. 

"Fuck you, I don't fucking love you anyways. Useless cunt." Louis was too on edge and too angry to even realize what had just happened he walked out and went to Liam's room and that's when everything really slid down hill.

After Louis' breakup with Harry, Harry kept to himself he figured everyone was pinning against him. Which to some degree was correct, shows were tense, the band was tense and Louis had tension the best massage therapists couldn't stretch out. Harry walked around with all too much entitlement if anything, and any given chance would talk shit about Louis behind his back quite figuratively. 

They were currently in Florence, Louis loved Florence much more then Paris, he always wrote a lot while he was there. Louis was standing on the balcony, smoking a blunt he had too much stress on him and in the five weeks he'd been broke up with Harry, he was just realizing now what it was to be without the love of his life.   
Zayn popped out with Louis on the balcony sighing. 

"Think the fans think this is weed?" Louis rolled his eyes, he wasn't really interested in that anymore. 

"Don't really give a fuck if I'm honest, just really fucking done." Zayn nodded taking a hit of his own blunt, blowing rings into the open wind. 

"Spoke with Simon today, they're letting me go." Louis looked at him from the corner of his eye, with a cocked brow. "I mean it's kinda over used now isn't it? 'Harry fucking Styles and his band of prep school fucks' Simon said I was too melodramatic for the image, some shite like that." Louis let a cloud of smoke out huffing, 'course Zayn would be asked to leave, of course. 

"So you'll just leave?" Zayn nodded mumbling 'yep' popping the p and taking another hit, Louis really needed alcohol to suffer this conversation. "It's whatever then." Zayn blinked looking at him as Louis put his blunt out in the ashtray on the table. 

"You can't give me shit about this I'm not fucking happy, I'm not a privilege white boy." Louis snorted walking back into his suite. 

"Yeah 'cause growing up in a counsel home for me means I'm a 'privileged white boy' doesn't fucking matter everything's all bullshit anyways." Zayn rolled his eyes, this was why he was taking the leave with open arms. 

"I can get back to Pez, I can be myself-" Louis cut him off he really wasn't in the mood. 

"Okay. That's fine your miserable. So is everyone else." Zayn shot Louis a look and Louis rolled his eyes flopping onto the sofa. 

"All because of your ex boy toy, we weren't meant to be a band they thought look there's five dudes with nice voices that can be moulded into money machines. That's all this was, it's a gimmick." Louis shook his head, running his hands over his face. 

"When's your last show?" 

"Hong Kong," Zayn mumbled placing himself besides Louis. "Look I don't want this to change us, still cool?" Louis mumbled a whatever before standing up and making his way to the mini fridge only to realize that apparently Europe didn't supply alcohol in the room, unlike America.

"Going to get booze. You want something." Zayn shook his head, and Louis slipped on a hat. 

"Gonna go ring Perrie, don't pull this somber bullshit, you knew this was gonna happen." Louis pursed his lips because yeah, he did know it was gonna happen, didn't seem like he'd loose his boyfriend, best friend and basically the band all in one.


	4. Chapter 4

Once Zayn's departure from the band was announced, they continued the rest of the tour, Louis didn't want to hate Zayn but he really did. The tour came to and end Louis life was slowly spiralling, Louis never planned on being a father, like ever, yet one of his flings from his whore fest 2015 in LA- Brianna. She was undeniably pregnant with his child. Louis kept it to himself for a while, he had the right paternity tests done, he'd looked at every physical option to prove he wasn't that stupid but yet here he was back in LA sitting with his mum waiting on the birth of his son. He just didn't know how to feel about all of this. 

Brianna wasn't horrible, he'd known her for last 2 years, just like much of his summer, one thing lead to the next and well now he was waiting on his son. Liam has text him asking him for updates, Louis explained that there was still no baby. Johanna could tell how strained Louis was, this wasn't in his plans, his plans was to stay with Harry. Johanna couldn't actually comprehend, her sons ex, she'd seen him all of a few months ago and she just didn't understand how his own mother wasn't interfering.   
The Harry subject was tough with Louis, Harry made snide comments about Louis' fatherhood, Harry made comments on anything Louis related to anyone with ears. 

Louis believed it was just the drugs, at least he wanted to believe that so it didn't look like he was a complete asshole. Louis almost fainted when Harry text him, it wasn't anything really but he was a bit taken by surprise. 

How's Bri? Hope things are good. -H. 

Louis stated at his phone unable to comprehend, how to even open his phone because shit, what was this even to mean. 

No baby yet. He's taking his time. 

He replied shortly, as much as it meant so much to him to hear from Harry, he really didn't want it to. 

Are you free tomorrow? Feel like coming 'round to mine? -H. 

Louis opened the message and stared at it holding back a sigh, what could Harry possibly want? Louis slid back in his chair, he really didn't feel much like a man who was about to be come a father. 

Brianna had their son at 12:49 am, Louis felt like he was going to pass out when the doctors called him back. Louis walked into the room, Brianna clutching the new born, smiling at their child. Louis walked in smiling as Brianna looked up at him, rubbing their sons face. 

"Want to hold him?" Louis nodded as Brianna passed the baby off, Louis never instantly felt a bond to someone before. "Freddie Reign, do you like it? I feel like it fits." Brianna blubbered as Louis took in his son that wasn't something he was sure he'd wanted, but he knew love looking at this- his child. 

"I like it, hello Freddie darling, I'm your dad." Louis petted his cheeks, and Brianna smiled. 

"Are you planning to stick around long?" She questioned, it was quite aware that they would be doing a co-parenting job, it still broke her heart a bit, she always assumed she'd have kids with someone who would be always around. 

"Yeah for a while at least. I don't have to be in London for about 8 weeks I think, I'll have to double check." Freddie fussed in Louis' arms letting a cry out as Brianna held her arms out, Louis passed him back over to her. 

"I think it would be good, I read a lot and the baby needs both parents you know?" Louis nodded and sighed, he knew how hard this was gonna be on him, Brianna and Freddie. He was desperate to be around unlike his own father. 

"I'll bring mum in she'll faint if I don't, as long as your okay with that?" She snorted and nodded. 

"Yes Lou, bring her in to meet her grandson." She smiled and Louis gave her one back going to get his mum from the waiting room, as much as this felt good, he just wished it was different.

***

Louis wished he could say he didn't find his way to Harry's house, at an embarrassingly early time in the afternoon, but he did. Louis took a deep breath after entering through the gate, that he apparently hadn't changed the code in since Louis shared it with him even if it was only a few months prior.   
Louis parked outside and got out, walking up to the door, it felt a bit formal to be ringing the bell to a house that he did used to live in but this was his life apparently.   
Harry came to the door in a silk robe, and smiled, Louis could see he was high. 

"Didn't think you'd come." Harry commented as Louis walked inside taking his sunglasses off, Louis shrugged looking at the foyer which was filled with more art pieces since he lived there. 

"Not sure it was the wisest idea to see my ex boyfriend after Bri just gave birth to my child." Louis snapped out as he watched Harry's facial expression change. 

"Right. Yeah. Drink?" Louis wasn't sure what he was actually doing here or why exactly Harry wanted him here, it felt a little too suffocating and a little too uncomfortable. 

"It's 12 in the afternoon." Louis commented and Harry shrugged pouring a drink out of his crystal decanter into his crystal glass. 

"Not been long back from London so technically it's 9 at night so," Harry took a drink which Louis glared at looking around the kitchen, Harry really decided to make this his gay paradise. "You keep looking 'round." He commented setting his drink down and fetching more ice out of the ice box. 

"You definitely our gay-d your self in here." Harry snorted refilling his glass and Louis definitely hadn't seen Harry drink like this while at home. 

"Self expression, I can be as much or as less as I want here." Louis tried to process the comment and decided that maybe Harry's braincells had died from drug and alcohol abuse, so he just nodded. 

"Why am I here? It's 12, you've got the fuckin' drugged look on your face and you're drinking? Not sure why you've invited me 'round when you clearly please your self just fine." Yeah Louis was bitter, the sole reason they broken their four year relationship off was because of his Hollywood attitude, which clearly hadn't changed, if not it's gotten worst. 

"I'm so fucking lonely." He breathed, knuckles white as he gripped the kitchen island. Louis raised an eyebrow. "I can have these fucking parties, and these fucking whores entertain me but then... I wake up and it's just me." Harry bit his lip taking the rest of his drink back, recomposing himself quickly.

"You did want this, you chose this when you came out of the hospital for a drug overdose and refused help. Don't cry lonely because coke isn't strong enough for you anymore." Harry pushed his hair back and Louis scanned his face for emotion that he clearly didn't have, he was speaking words with nothing behind them. 

"I'm not using that shit, haven't been for a bit." Louis snorted and nodded sarcastically. "It's not supposed to be like this, I thought the other day, it's a fucking joke to have everything at the tips of your fingers but nothing actually there." If Louis had been talking to Harry twelve months ago before all of this shit he'd be pulling, he'd feel sympathy, he just couldn't find any sympathy for someone continuing to destroy themselves. "The hiatus, or whatever Simon keeps calling it, it's going to kill me." The dramatics for this early in the morning was a little much for Louis, he couldn't find reason to believe anything from Harry's mouth, he had a motive that Louis couldn't see. 

"What do you want Harry." Louis said flatly, pitching the bridge of his nose. 

"You. I want you." Louis burst out laughing, as Harry squinted his eyes. "It's not a fucking joke Louis, I'm dying over here." 

"And the blood will be on your own hands, I'll help your abuse problems if I thought that's what you actually were going to go through with. I'm not bringing myself down to make you feel some kind of self worth, like last thing you said to me, well not even to me exactly. More like several steps away from me, was making a cheeky comment about my unborn child, so don't cry to me about being lonely and wanting me back. You don't want me back you want something that gives you a sense of right doing, so it'll make up for all the other shit. This is pathetic you don't want me anymore then you want to use me, I'm not being apart of this." If someone could be slapped by speech, that's what Harry had felt like, of course he loved Louis, he just didn't have what he loved on the same priority list as his lifestyle. Harry straightened up, with a stiff smile. 

"Right, silly me." He mumbled, looking at the ground breathing in through his nose, Louis looked unamused and no amount of drugs would take the feeling of rejection away from Harry. "Well, busy day I've got. Glad you could stop by. Hope all goes well with the child- boy right?" This was fake Harry, this was the Harry the media seen, the polished, well worded, well mannered icon that he'd been groomed into being. Harry Styles didn't curse or think bad thoughts, and he certainly didn't party with whores and drug addicts, and he most certainly had never touched any substance whether it be alcohol or drugs. This was the Harry, Louis hated most. 

"Yeah, Freddie. Bye H. Take care of yourself or whatever." Louis felt uneasy now, he'd gotten this version of Harry publicly, privately Louis never seen that. Harry gave the sickeningly sweet smile that he put on for daytime TV interviews and Louis could tell by that look, he'd completely lost any version of Harry he had to himself. 

They all played it, it was scripted out since day one, Liam found Harry's part ironic because he didn't fit the bill for what they wanted him to be, Louis found it horrible, stage Harry was the worst Harry. Now it seemed that's all he could be, that and manipulative.

Louis left with the slightest feeling of what if that was a cry for help genuinely, but it was no longer Louis' problem and he had so many other things going on. So he didn't think about it much more. 

***

Harry was frantic, he was late for a meeting that was crucial to his future and his latest nightly lover wouldn't leave. This is a fucking joke, he mumbled calling Ben. 

"Where the hell are you?" Harry ran a hand through his hair looking at the blonde bloke in his bed. 

"I had a guest last night that won't see to wake up." Harry was also frantic do to the fact one of his house guests decided to swipe his bag of tricks, so he tried vodka and a single Xanax he found in one of his shoes. 

"Okay, well you need to be here, so leave the kid alone and come here lock him in the room I don't give a fuck get here now Harry. This is the unprofessionalism that's gonna keep you from getting this deal." Harry was sweating, he locked Gregg (he's pretty sure that was his name) in the room grabbing his bag, trying to breathe through this shit. He also needed a maid, never again was he inviting that age category over.   
Thing about high school age, they always always brung drugs, so Harry noticed a half smoked joint and a needle full. He looked at the needle for a bit, he'd never done that, he's done some dodgy stuff but he stayed away from anything you had to inject.   
At this moment his self diagnosed anxiety, that was actually withdrawal was extremely high, so he took an elastic and tried it around his arm picking the needle up. Harry'd seen enough people do that, he just didn't want to be that person, but here he was injecting what he assumed was heroin into him so he could function at some kind of normal rate.   
Harry'd never felt a feeling like that, he wasn't sure he exactly liked the feeling of something going into his bloodstream. He through the needle out and took a deep breath collecting himself. His driver out side, halfway to the meeting Harry really felt high, he'd been high, like extremely out of his mind before. This, this was different.   
Harry got out as Ben rolled his eyes seeing Harry stumbling out of the car glasses over his eyes. 

"Fuck sakes this is absolutely ridiculous." Harry giggles, grabbing Ben's face, laughing a bit harder. "Is it impossible for you to actually do something not fucked up? What the hell did you do?" Everyone knew of Harry's problem, no one could exactly do anything about it. 

"Some fuckin' kid took all my stuff but left behind a needle. Hey don't look at me like that! I was going to pass out my anxiety Ben." Ben pulled Harry back as Harry fell to the ground laughing again and Ben wished Harry wasn't his problem. 

"So now we're on heroin? That's good isn't it? I'm really fucking happy about that. It's not anxiety Harry, it's withdrawal." Harry stood up and stuck his tongue up, walking into the meeting room, Ben just wished they could get through this easy.   
Surprisingly everything went over well, and Harry's stupidity made the company laugh and Ben wasn't sure if they were stupid or not. They rescheduled for next week and Harry gave everyone a kiss, Ben hates him. 

"Look this stops, okay?" Ben mumbled to Harry as they walked out side. 

"Darling-" Ben gave a look to him and Harry shut his mouth. 

"This can't go on, what's the press going to say when they find out you've been snorting and shooting up?" Harry couldn't actually think straight to answer that question, so he didn't he just got in the car and Ben drove back with him. 

"Fancy a drink?" Harry said while they walked into his house. 

"Don't you have a guest to get rid of?" Harry took his sunglasses off, thinking for a minute before his eyes widened. 

"I do don't I?" Ben put his head on the table as Harry walked to his room unlocking the door finding last nights fun finally awake. "Time to go darling, want a shirt or something?" The boy stood up, grabbing his clothes. 

"Call me." He mumbled setting a card on the night stand, Harry followed him out and he really needed to sit down. Harry fell on to the couch, and Ben sighed almost giving Harry a heart attack, he forgot about Ben. 

"How old was he?" Harry shrugged he wasn't sure if he was honest, he needed a nap, his day had already been too much. "Like serious H, this is all going to come out." Harry held a finger up to quite Ben down. "Don't fucking do that, you're a train wreck." 

"Okay, thanks." He muttered with closed eyes. 

"Is this new then? Heroin?" 

"New as in I needed something because I was having close to having an anxiety attack, and it was sitting there, it's not for fun. I need it or I'll go crazy." Ben sighed standing up. 

"Get diagnosed with anxiety and the long lost of other disorders you apparently have, and get properly medicated." Ben walked out and again, Harry was left on his own, and Harry really felt the quite around him.


	5. Chapter 5

Louis stayed away from the paparazzi, he was able to get around without being stalked, unfortunately today was not his day. Louis was out with Lottie for lunch in a cafe just outside West Hollywood, and apparently everyone and there nans felt the need to be there. 

"This is ridiculous I haven't been followed in like months." Lottie scoffed finishing off her laté. 

"There's all that business about Harry though, isn't there?" Louis scrunched his face up, and Lottie opened her mouth and closed it, pulling her phone out and typing. Lottie handed Louis the phone looking around. 

'Bad Direction?   
For months rumours of former One Direction singer Harry Styles have been buzzing about his extra curricular's, seemly over the last 6 weeks Styles has been out and notedly been under the influence, which wouldn't raise concern if the band member did have an overdose all but under a year ago.   
Speculation about Styles' drug use has been a hot topic since a low quality image was tweeted world wide of the singer snorting cocaine. Although it's not clear whether it is in fact Harry or not sources close to the star have confirmed their worries for him. '

Louis sat dumbfounded, Harry's publicists has always made sure to cover up his little problem as they called it, and now it was a head lining store on multiple tabloid pages? Louis handed the phone back to Lottie and sighed. 

"Still after breaking up with him he still finds a way of ruining my life," Louis sighed, glancing towards the paparazzi. "Don't say anything, no doubt it'll be about that twat." He grunted, Louis hadn't heard much from anyone about Harry, and Harry was just about as out of his mind as possible he was a new dad he didn't have time for that train wreck. Seeing that article though? That was hard. It was hard seeing the love of his life looking like that what headlines about him like that. Whether Louis cared or not, he hated to see that Harry still wasn't clean, he hated that Harry was still struggling.   
The pair dodged questions as they got into Louis' car, Louis let a sigh out as he started the car. 

"Lou, I know you still are bitter about everything and it's shit what way he's in right now but... Are you not concerned? Ex boyfriend or not I would still worry." Louis was concerned 100%, he just didn't know his place anymore. 

"What can I do Lot? Like really, he didn't care enough to stop when I broke it off with him." This conversation frustrated Louis, obviously Harry's main priority was his addiction and that was incredibly hurtful to Louis. 

"You've never been an addict, at this point Harry has no one I assume but he really doesn't care because he's got his drugs or whatever. He's gonna keep spinning out worst and he's got no one." Louis gave his sister a look, while she gave one back. 

"Why are you defending him?" He snapped taking the highway off to his house. 

"I'm not I'm saying he's got no one everyone sick of his shit, rightfully so." He ran a hand over his face in frustration, what the hell was she even getting at. "Okay what I'm saying is he needs fucking help right?" Louis huffed and nodded. 

"I'm not the one for that, I couldn't-" 

"Stop giving excuses, you're giving all these reasons not to help him but would be devastated if anything happened right?" He nodded sighing, as he pulled up to his house, parking and pressing his head against the steering wheel. 

"What do I do like- it's fucking impossible." Lottie shrugged getting out of the car. 

"Be there for him as a friend, try and help keep him clean or something." She stayed as she grabbed his purse and headed inside Louis' house. Louis bit his lip blowing air out of his mouth, why was this his life? Why did he have to be in this situation.  
Against what he wanted to do, he picked his phone up and dialled Harry, he wasn't sure what he was to gain from it but at least no one could say he hasn't tried. Harry picked up to Louis' misfortune on the fourth ring, voice heavily coming through his car speaker. 

"Lou?" He only spoke one word and the stumble over Louis' name was prominent. 

"Hey, yeah. Uh, just checking in..." Louis felt like an idiot, he could hear Harry rustling around in the background before answering. 

"Good, yeah." The reply didn't make a whole lot of sense, Harry cleared his throat and his voice came back through the speaker. "Doing good, not a morning person." He laughed and Louis raised an eyebrow looking at his clock saying it was half past three in the afternoon. 

"Well it's more like afternoon if you're in LA, not quite morning like." And yeah that was a lot more bitter then Louis intended it to be, he just couldn't help it. 

"Did you... Did you want something? Not that it's not okay for you to call, uh, it's a bit.. Random? Unexpected? Out of the blue? Uh, what's the word..." Harry stumbled over the sentence so horribly, that Louis could tell he was not of right sound mind. 

"Don't need anything. I read the paper about you and wanted to see how you were, I've obviously gotten my answer." Harry paused for a whole minute and Louis almost thought he wasn't on the phone anymore. 

"Paper? Okay? What paper?" 

"The one of about your not so secret drug addiction? Something about snorting up in a club, and about the over dose." Harry sucked a breath back and released it as Louis chewed his fingers. 

"Oh. Haven't seen that. I guess it's obvious innit?" He laughed and Louis didn't find the humour in any of this, nothing was funny, and you couldn't make a drug addiction a laugh. 

"Not exactly funny is it?" He felt bad for continuing to snap but boy was Harry testing his thin patients. 

"I'm scared." He breathed, and Louis leaned back in the drivers seat and held his hands over his face. 

"Of?" He questioned he wasn't sure if he wanted the answer or not. He could hear Harry start to cry on the other end and Louis felt his chest tighten. 

"I- it's bad Lou, so fucking bad." He cried, and Louis didn't know how to speak. He rubbed his lip and tried to bit back crying himself. 

"Harry, this has to stop, I'll get you help I- you're going to die." Louis took a deep breath trying to compose himself because shit, it was too much too quick to be this heavy. 

"Can you come over?" Louis nodded to no one, because he couldn't speak, he took a few breaths before breathing a yes out. "I need someone." Louis' chest felt like it was going to collapse it was so tight, his throat had a lump in it and he just wished it wasn't this way. 

"Gimme 20, okay? I'll be there soon." Harry agreed and Louis hung up never feeling so upset over something, he reversed out of the driveway and brushed back tears. 

Harry's house was only 10 miles away from his, and he got there a little too quick, going through the gate, and pulling up at the front door. Louis hopped out and walked in, it felt weird knocking. Louis walked through the foyer to living room where Harry was sitting in fetal position, in red silk pyjama bottoms. 

"Lou," he breathed sitting up more, and Louis looked over him and he looked horrible, Louis could see faint track lines by his arm crease, and that meant things were worst then he expected. 

"How can I help?" He questioned voice shaking as he sat on the couch with Harry. 

"Just be here, I hate being alone- please don't leave." Louis nodded taking a breath. 

"I won't okay?" Harry nodded with a faint smile, before biting his lip. "You look like you need sleep, should I get you to bed?" Harry was looking at his feet, which had bright yellow polish on his toenails, he swallowed and nodded. 

"I can't move." He mumbled head in between his knees. Louis raised an eyebrow as Harry looked up, Louis knew Harry's inability to admit he couldn't do something, so he didn't say anything and picked him up noticing how light he felt in Louis' arms. 

"You've lost weight." He commented, as Harry sighed curled into Louis' chest, as Louis carried him up a flight of stairs. 

"I don't eat much, never hungry." Louis knew it was because the want for drugs was more then the want for food and he was feeding more cocktails of drugs into his system to make him feel like he wasn't hungry. "Guest room, I don't stay in our old room." He commented hazily, as Louis got to the top floor, heading into the guest room that had been completely redone.  
Seems Harry's colour scheme was red lately, the room was a beige-grey colour with red bedding and art. Louis put Harry into the unmade bed pulling through duvet over him as Harry grabbed Louis arm. 

"Can you stay? In here?" His voice was low and cracking and Louis didn't want to but didn't want to not, so he climbed in and stroked Harry's hair. 

"I'll get you better." He hummed and Harry closed his eyes, Louis wasn't sure if it was whatever he'd taken but he'd fallen asleep so quickly, it could have been alarming. Louis pulling himself out of the bed and went searching though the house for any drugs and looked up a diy on how to help an addict get clean. After four and a half hours he felt confident that he'd gotten everything out, and gathered enough information on what to do. He sent Liam and Niall a text about the current situation, and got back into the bed where Harry was still sleeping, Louis pulled the duvet over himself and sighed. He hadn't had a clue on how hard this was going to be.

Louis woke up to Harry sitting on top of him, Louis gave a look blinking a few times opening his mouth but Harry cut in. 

"Lou," he breathed ducking down to Louis neck, Louis closed his eyes he couldn't do this.

"Harry get off." He mumbled as Harry's hands were at Louis' sides. 

"Baby, please, I can't- I can't think straight." Harry stuttered hot on Louis neck, Louis pushes himself up Harry still attached. 

"No, we can't do this, we aren't-" 

"Didn't matter before did it?" Harry sat up, still sitting on Louis, and Louis licked his lips because yeah Harry was right they did do this when they weren't together. 

"It's different now H, we need to get you better." Harry rolled off Louis and laid on his belly huffing into the mattress. 

"Louis, please I'm begging I can't focus I need something to focus on." Louis wasn't sure when the last time Harry had taken something was so it could be possible he was coming down, it could be possible that Harry not being able to focus was because all he could focus on was taking a bit of something. 

"Do you need to take a shower?" Louis could feel the anger radiating off of Harry, as he groaned he'd not lifted up from the mattress. 

"Don't need a fuckin' shower I need a good fuck." He mumbled aggressively; Louis laid into his back groaning mentally because he really wasn't cut out for this job. "Louis please I need something." Louis pushed Harry off, Harry gave a glare, Louis wasn't sure how to handle this. When he'd been with Harry he wasn't this deep in. 

"Your actual fucking disgusting." Louis breathed, watching Harry's face fall before getting up off the bed rummaging though his night stand. Louis stood up out of the bed, watching Harry open a bottle. "What the fuck are you taking?" He almost screamed, Harry ignored him swallowing down whatever he had in the pill bottle. Louis shook his head, as Harry laid back down on the bed. 

"Do you know what it's like to exist but be nonexistent at the same time?" Louis was sure this wasn't a real question, Louis was sure this was some kind of sick fucking joke he'd been sucked into. He also wasn't sure why he'd been over so often lately, when all Harry would do is beg him to sleep with him. "I want to die. You don't love me anymore and I'm going to do it. I'll fucking kill myself and it'll be on your fucking hands." He spat sitting back up staring at Louis, Louis bit his lip and sighed. This was typical. Nick had mentioned Harry's threat of death, apparently if he couldn't get his way he tried to manipulate you by saying he'd kill himself, evidently he was still alive. 

"Right," Louis mumbled, looking into Harry's eyes. They were wild, he'd seen him like this once, it was after they broke up, he'd came to Louis' room in some state, going on about his pressure and he couldn't keep it up. Louis felt there was some sort of truth to the matter, but it'd been so lost with so much manipulation and deceit that it didn't seem to even have any emotion behind it anymore. "Look, I'm here to tell with this issue, I'm not going to stand here and be roped into having sex with you. I told you that last time, the only reason you care to have me around is because it gives you some kind of validation of worth. You can ruin your own fucking life, but I'm not being involved anymore. I washed my hands of it before." Harry's nostrils flared as Louis grabbed his keys of the night stand. "Your not going to kill yourself this is the seventh time I've heard you've said this, it's a plot. No one feels bad for you everyone's sick to death of your shit. Get fucking clean then people will have sympathy." Louis walked out, of the room and walked down the stairs hearing Harry's feet down the hall. Louis was almost at the door when Harry leaned over the landing. 

"Don't ever fucking come over again, you absolute prick!" Harry yelled, Louis gave a wave slamming the door, as much as Louis hated Harry he cried when he got into his car. Louis drove off, calling Liam, Liam frequently checked in on Harry, never ending well but it was like some kind of time bomb everyone was scared of. Liam picked up to Louis' cries. 

"What's the matter?" He questioned off the bat, Louis pulled into a gas station, parking putting his head on the steering wheel. 

"I am absolutely in love with someone who doesn't give a shit about me, doesn't give a shit about anyone in this world other then fucking drugs and himself. I don't know what I can do anymore it's driving me fucking insane." Louis could practically hear Liam licking his lips and rubbing his face. 

"Did you see him?" 

"Went 'round to his, cried for hours about being lonely and he was scared then he fucking flipped to saying he was going to kill himself because I wouldn't sleep with him." He cried, Louis knew deep down there was not an ounce of truth to it but somehow he felt Harry could do it and then what would Louis do? 

"Lou, you've got to realize he does not care to get help, he doesn't care he'd hurting you, it's all a game because he's so fucked with drugs. Look, I think the best thing is if he does overdose again. Ben's already said he's waiting on it. Waiting on him to fuck up so they can force him into rehab by holding his contract over him or something, look it's going to be hard but this isn't your fault I don't think Anne is speaking with him ether." This made Louis feel worst because he was alone, not to his own doing but he was genuinely alone and people were waiting for his down fall so that they could do something about it. 

"Can't we lock him in his room and detox him? Get a doctor in the house hold him against his will? It's in humane but he's going to die, if he overdoses again he'll die, I promise you that." Louis thought about it more times then enough to lock him in and keep him clean that way. 

"Give it a month okay? If things get worst I'll talk back to Ben and see what we can do. I know you're worried Lou, we all are it's fucking insane we have to be dealing with this shit. It'll all work out." Louis never felt word more empty in his life, it definitely did not seem like anything was going to work out but he'd agree to give Harry a month snd see how he fared, Louis had little to no beliefs that he would change for the better but he could maybe hope to some extent.


End file.
